I recently read a Harvard Business Review blog post entitled: “Do People Really Want You To Be Honest?”
Telling The Truth?
I was attracted by the title and totally fascinated by the on-line discussion that ensued. Although most of the comments indicated a belief that one should always tell the truth… there were the inevitable (and surprising to me) number of suggestions that under certain circumstances one can justify not telling the truth – usually in the name of protecting the other person and sometimes in the name of “…just simply getting the job done.” Those of you who are regular readers of this blog know that many of my discussions of creating and nurturing relationships while intentionally building growth are dependent upon being a “trusted advisor” by always telling it like it is. The HBR blog motivated me to write this additional post dedicated to being a truth teller at all times.
For starters, here’s where I stand on the subject: What works best is to always tell the truth. Always! And, yes, I would love to see the world change so that everyone told the truth – all the time – even though it probably won’t happen before I leave the planet. Although I’m not attacking those with a different position, I am extremely comfortable with trumpeting my position because I always tell the truth and everyone who knows me knows that. As an example, my clients know I will tell them not to buy if my offer isn’t right for them. My wife relies on my opinion because she can count on me to tell the truth if she asks me about a new dress. My friends know they can ask me for anything because if I can’t or don’t want to, they know I’ll tell them – without adding judgement.
Is telling ”the truth, and nothing but the truth” uncomfortable some times? Yes. Is it possible to misrepresent the truth and “get away with it”? I suppose so. Do I sometimes want to squirm out of telling the truth? Yes. Does it backfire sometimes? Yes – but rarely. Am I sometimes afraid of the short-term costs and implications? Yes. But the truth is my anchor, my mission, and my brand so I always resolve in favor of telling it as it is. The payoff in long-term success is always there regardless of any potential short-term gains.
My confidence in humanity is that it’s possible for us to all be truth-tellers (and no, I don’t think I’m tilting at windmills.) As an indication of progress, it’s great when people engage in a conversation about honesty so that all 360 degrees of positions can be offered and discussed. Some people are OK with saying whatever they need to in driving towards the desired immediate result. I don’t think they are “wrong” – I’d just like them to see that there might be a better way.
In my world honesty, truth-telling, and integrity are all the same and apply whether personal or in business. The Intentional Growth blog and this post, however, are focused on business – specifically on revenue growth and sales.
It is my belief that there is only one way to tell the truth and that is tell 100% of the truth 100% of the time. For example, white lies are not the truth. Are you one of those people who think nothing of avoiding someone by saying: “tell him I’m not in” when you are, or “tell him I’m on the phone” when you are not? That sets a very low bar for you and by demonstrating a circumstance in which you are willing to lie (ooooh, that’s a harsh word, isn’t it?) also tells the people around you that you cannot be counted on to ALWAYS tell the truth. And it is never appropriate (or with integrity) to lie.
Being a truth-teller is not a thing one does from time to time – it is a place to come from and a lifestyle to lead. You simply will not be looked at as a trusted advisor in any business situation if you cannot be counted on to ALWAYS tell the truth. It is also my opinion that your effectiveness is minimized in being looked at as an equal partner, supportive boss, dependable employee, valued supplier, or useful mentor if you are not known as a truth teller.
What’s your personal brand? Are you known as someone who tells the truth under certain circumstances? Do the people you do business with — from the receptionist to your CEO to your client — know you’ll always tell them the truth or do they need to “figure it out” in every circumstance?
Or are you known as a truth-teller?
___________________________________________
Do you agree or disagree? By all means add a comment below and join the debate.
<Photo Copyright: iqoncept www.fotosearch.com>
Loading tweets...
11 comments
4 pings
Skip to comment form ↓
Thomas Fuller
14 January 2012 at 3:24 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Nice post Joseph…couldn’t agree with you more. honored to be associated professionally with you.
TF
Alan Berkson
16 January 2012 at 3:06 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Joseph,
Agree completely. Telling the truth is much easier than remembering what you lied about. Trust is the basis sales. In an age of pervasive communications, telling the truth is an essential component of the transparency necessary to be successful.
Alan Berkson
Principal, Intelligist Group LLC
Joseph Olewitz
16 January 2012 at 4:06 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks Alan,
I’m really glad you mentioned the issue of remembering lies. It got edited out of the final post which was already very long and it’s a key issue. It’s not just lies that must be remembered but any mis-statement no matter how “innocently” justified – including white lies and more.
JOSEPH
dave reynolds (@997dave)
16 January 2012 at 9:42 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great read my friend. I think for me it comes down to the fundamental belief in the real effectiveness of my product to deliver results to clients. Ergo, I am incapable of not telling the truth. If you understand my meaning:)
Joseph Olewitz
18 January 2012 at 10:24 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yes Dave, I agree, fundamental belief in the product gives strong foundation to being able to tell the truth. Thanks for pointing that out.
For clarity’s sake, I want all our readers to understand that I’m saying one must tell the truth all the time — especially when there’s no confidence in the product or no comfort that the otherwise excellent product is right for that customer/client, in that specific situation.
Rohn Jay Miller
17 January 2012 at 10:58 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Joseph, does this dress make me look fat?
Joseph Olewitz
18 January 2012 at 10:03 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hey Rohn, I’m surprised you’re publicly admitting to wearing dresses, but don’t worry – you look maahrvelous.
CASUDI
18 January 2012 at 7:14 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Of course we all agree that we should tell the truth at all times BUT…..and I am known for being quite outspoken…telling it like it is…..BUT there are occasions when telling less than the truth or an exaggerated truth can better serve your objective.
When I am solving problems in the corporate world, start-up, small biz or early stage company space, often an exaggerated truth gets the point across.
When working with client’s solving their Architectural or interior design problems……one has to temper ones true feelings quit often about some of the things they have done or want to do…….home is very dear to people….. however other times being blatantly honest has got me the project.
Joseph Olewitz
18 January 2012 at 8:38 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks for joining the discussion Caroline, I always like your ability to stir it up
You’re absolutely right, of course, but isn’t that the conundrum we all face?
If your highest priority is serving “the objective” you can always justify telling less than the truth or an exaggerated truth and you’ll make yourself comfortable by saying you were hired to meet the objectives. By the way, what is “less than the truth?” If you mean leaving out irrelevant details, sure that’s fine. But if what you leave out is material then that’s NOT the truth.
If your highest priority is telling the truth you would never say something that doesn’t absolutely represent the truth as it comes out of your mouth. And my argument is that in the long run being known as a “truth-teller” is more valuable than meeting the short term objective. Even if it’s not comfortable to miss the objective, it will be comfortable knowing that you were “true,” that people know they can always count on you for that then, next time with the same client or with a different client or with the people in your orbit in your company — they will all know that what you say is absolutely so… or you wouldn’t say it.
JOSEPH
LeAnna J. Carey
23 January 2012 at 11:57 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Insightful post, Joseph. From a business perspective, I have often had to navigate around different perspectives of the truth and that is where emotional intelligence leaves it’s mark. Anytime there is more than one executive sitting around the table, there are different ‘takes’ on situations or conversations and forward movement often depends on the best listeners! Lea
Joseph Olewitz
23 January 2012 at 2:16 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks for joining in the discussion Lea
You are absolutely correct that perception is a critical element to success in communications as is the need for great listening skills. The notion you bring up about “different perspectives of the truth” is at the core of creating a context of truth-telling. It’s really very simple to tell the truth all the time without a perception problem. For example, saying: “I think that approach to the client won’t work” represents a very different statement than “that approach to the client won’t work.” The first is a true statement about one’s POV and accounts for “perception” while the second is an opinion masked as an implied statement of fact as though it were true.
It seems you are implying that if we could get all those executives around the table to take responsibility for their opinions as opposed to demonstrable facts, that we would have much more efficient communications. And I couldn’t agree more.
JOSEPH
5 Ways to Harness Your Online Reputation For Blogging Success : @ProBlogger
27 January 2013 at 2:07 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] don’t embellish. Your blog will succeed if you establish this intention. For example, International Growth does a great job of establishing [...]
5 Ways to Harness Your Online Reputation For Blogging Success | iblogwp.net
27 January 2013 at 8:16 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] don’t embellish. Your blog will succeed if you establish this intention. For example, Intentional Growth does a great job of establishing [...]
5 Ways to Harness Your Online Reputation For Blogging Success | Johns Books and Hobbies
27 January 2013 at 9:08 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] don’t embellish. Your blog will succeed if you establish this intention. For example, International Growth does a great job of establishing [...]
5 Ways to Harness Your Online Reputation For Blogging Success | RickBrownOnline
29 January 2013 at 9:05 PM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] don’t embellish. Your blog will succeed if you establish this intention. For example, International Growth does a great job of establishing [...]